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Archive for November, 2008

The kind of blog post where I try and describe how I feel without being completely pathetic.  (And being convinced that I fail at it)

 

My leg edema has gotten bad.  We’re talking worrisome, if something doesn’t change you might be going to the hospital kinda of stuff.  I got a skin split, I told everyone this.  What I haven’t told anyone is that I have developed a skin ulcer as well. 

 

I had to institute severe limits on my play time (and my time at work..  and the hour commute both way is a killer, btw).  The result of all this is that I am missing spending time with the people I enjoy playing the game with most.  I won’t ask people to wait to do things, because I feel that would be selfish.  And since they normally do things in large bunches, I sit out alone a lot.

 

Now, I am already worried about my leg, along with all the fucking other stress that goes with working part-time and the husband being out of work.  Now I can’t even play WoW the way I want to…  and I do not see this changing any time soon. 

 

I suppose that I could lose a bunch of weight and not have to be quite so anal.  Or I could have permanently done damage to myself.  I don’t know…  but it is making me crazy.  And I try not to sound like a complete raging bitch, so I try not to talk to people about it.  I occasionally let it slip.  I make some pitiful snarky comment…  I don’t talk on vent, because I can’t sound normally when I’m in full QQ mode.

 

I don’t want to make it sound like my friends are anything less than supportive, because they aren’t.  They are awesome people, but I’m just a tad bit irrational (read hugely here) about the whole thing.  I know I’m irrational..  Which is why I haven’t quit, or been horrible snarky.  And I have been trying to keep from being completely out of control (and failing, hence not being on vent or talking to people about it.  You should pity the husband, he can’t get away from me)

 

So, yeah…  still not okay, but working on accepting it.

 

Now that I’ve started sniffling, I’m gonna go for a walk and put my feet up again.  /sigh

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Bah

I hate when you manage to do something so incredibly stupid that it makes you unable to do things you want to do.

Oh..  and that useless crappy feeling you get…  I love that too.

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Gtalk is Silly

Linedan:  How I mine for fish? (In response to my gtalk status)

Me: I dunno, ask Grizz

Linedan:  but I don’t want to do it naked.

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Oh hey, its me again.

I’m in a mood.  I don’t like this mood.  It’s kinda bitchy and kinda irritable.  I hate it, which makes me bitch and irritable…  you get the idea.  Worse, Because I dislike the mood, I also feel alienated and crap.

 

GOD!

 

Stupid damn moods.

 

What I really need is a nice long relaxing sleep…  but wait…  I CAN’T FUCKING SLEEP!  Who the hell put in this frigging time clock anyway?

 

addendum:

Good thing about this?  I am still writing.  (I’m also cursing like a sailor, but it happens.)  I can make writing out of anything it seems.

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I am so tired

So, returning to work after 5 days of WoW is not nearly as exciting as you might think.

 

Of course, if it had been just pure powerleveling I might be happy to be here.  But RPs!

 

Anyway.  I go balance this bank account now.  I need to consider how to put Belf RPs on my blog.  Who knows, maybe the warcraft sues community on livejournal will find me to mock!

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Behold Belves!

Thanks go to Lansirion for making an awesome picture.

Left to right:  Then’liath, Destril, Dorr’tow and Keltyr

 

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Perspective

I am a horrible blogger.

 

Just last week, I was having a horrible month.  Still unhappy in WoW, still struggling to get my head on straight.

 

What a difference a week makes.

 

Last Monday night, we had the culmination to a story arc that has been a part of Noxilite since before I was even a member.  I was actually not happy with the ending (mostly because I was frustrated with myself and my use of game mechanics.)  I went off to sulk Aside for a while.  (Thank you for the people who poked me out of said sulk.)

 

I should use this moment to add as an aside, that I really enjoy creative writing.  So obvious I know, but its my blog so 😛

 

Anyway, thinking about the implications of the end of said RP started a ball rolling.  Not only have I written practically non-stop for a week, but there were a lot of people involved.  It was, hands down, one of my best experiences in the game in four years.  It made me realize that I had forgotten what made me want to stay with WoW in the first place.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love raiding.  I like the challenges of getting people together, learning new fights and trying to do better myself.  But if that is all the game was…  Well it is really not enough.

 

When Wrath hits, not only will I be ready to play because I understand the classes I am going to play, but because I have an understanding of the characters.  And that, more than anything, will keep me in the game.

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